I dunno, I always thought that...

...going online was a treat.  I didn't want to mess anything up for anyone.  I didn't want to mess it up for myself.

Why do people want to subject me to self-degradation?

Why ARE people forever nagging at me?

My life is screwed privately and publicly alike!

My Musing

People have all trashed their relationship with me since the "n" word incident, but I guess I'll wait here until they get it together.

So...

...My dad sometimes acts mean.  I went out to eat supper when I woke up.  My dad was watching TV and lightly playing his guitar.  He went to his computer, eventually.  I said bye when I left, even though he wasn't in a good mood.  He like sounded like me which affected me and then like did something uncomfortable with the sound of his voice.  I just tried singing, and it didn't work.  I did get one good sound out, at the end.  I think he was sorry, but it's too late.  I don't have to listen to him!  I'm 26.  He's having me on psychiatric medicine, thinking I will blow up if I don't take it.  I failed last time.  I was sent to the mental hospital, for no good reason, again.  He's not having me back if I go again.  They shouldn't be mean like that.  People are mean to me.

You should study piano

in order to not only become familiarized with how to create music but to get down all the harmonies and melodies.

If you just do what you're supposed to

you won't have any problems.

It's not things that go around that people act like is right.  Like, you don't have to hurt someone if they're bad.  I don't.  I'm fine!

We all "have fun" in different ways.

=}

Why do people try to impress you by hurting you?

Something just overcame me.

It was hard to think about the internet after awhile, like when someone becomes famous from your area with an annoying accent.

Choir

Growing up as a kid and pre-teen in Florida, kids who joined choir were seen as the ones who sought out music.  Where I moved in the New Orleans area, music was seen a decision to take seriously and not as something everyone did, even in choir.  So, you were supposed to take voice lessons.

The U.S. and Europe..

People act like in the U.S. there is something they are keeping from the world because they think Europe is better.

When I Grew Up

People were adamant against the fact that I had an Asian mom, despite the fact that I just really acted European.  I guess they see today how I built myself up, beyond their scope of being.

What if it doesn't feel good...

...to give up doing something for the sake of doing one thing, like singing and dancing.

I don't know if the south

is really "something" you want to get into.  Wait - I mean, I dunno, I guess every place has something wrong with it, at least in the U.S.

Like, in the south, I guess people don't care about themselves, in a way.  Like, they don't care how they're presented but are stuck-ups.

People up north get confused between being nice and being critical... Meh.

People are afraid to explain why they are how they are.

They think maybe I'm afraid of something.  They're just afraid to be wrong.  How silly.

Needless to say...

I'm very mad, er, sad, that I didn't get the accounts under ChristinaBarrett at IMDb, Blogger, YouTube, etc.

People Not Wanting Me to Act Smartly

That's stupid.

My parents have to mislead me.

Just in order to say I did something wrong or something I could have done better.  That's a joke.

People like to act like they're my parents.

That's a joke.

I will not listen to someone

who themselves have no discipline, really, for whatever reason.  I feel I'm being stalked on the internet.  I WISH I JUST CAME ON AND DID MY OWN THING!

I guess no person could have 0 discipline, not sure what I meant now.  It's just a joke to listen to people who themselves aren't really nice, at all, in a way.  I mean, you'd think everyone would be nice and live a normal life, but I guess not.

I just found that someone, not sure who really, has been taking accounts under my name just to annoy me because of something I did, that wasn't purely stupid.